Tuesday, June 9, 2009

No Hands

For those of you who watch professional cycling on TV, have you ever seen a racer put on/take off a jacket, jersey, gloves or arm warmers while riding no handed? They make it look easy don't they? Have you ever been on a ride and decided to try doing the same, only to realize it's quite a bit trickier in real life than the pros make it look on TV?

Well, today I witnessed something similar. In the bathroom. You see, I drink a lot of water which requires me to pee a lot. Generally I find using the facilities to be quite routine. This afternoon, however, I witnessed something amazing. I entered the bathroom, turned the corner and saw that my co-worker - let's call him Tom - was standing in front of the urinal. Taking a leak. WITH BOTH HANDS ON HIS HIPS!

Before today I'd never thought seriously about peeing no handed. But now that I've seen it I can't help but wonder if I could do it too. In fact, I asked Tom how he did it. His response?

"Well, it's a big urinal."

It looks pretty small to me...

11 comments:

Ski Bike Junkie said...

Like removing a jacket while riding, one has to be careful not to let things fly willy nilly lest an unwanted accident result.

KanyonKris said...

Having to go as I read this, an experiment was in order.

Results: Worked fine, not a big deal.

UtRider said...

Kris, you are a true risk taker. I dare you to make this a habit and read a book/magazine/newspaper while you go.

Piotrek said...

Nothing to brag about. It's not a nipple - some of us have to hold it up.

Blackdog said...

I think the line is "The water is cold" "And deep"

OilcanRacer said...

didn't work for me...flew around like a fire hose on high.

now i gotta disinfect the bathroom, thanks a lot!!

KanyonKris said...

UtRider - How long does it take you to pee? I'm done in 15 seconds - not enough time to read anything. But maybe it's the cool factor.

Piotrek - The fly helps support "it".

Oilcan - Man, you must a voluminous stream! Maybe if my bladder was full I'd have enough pressure to get some unattended fire hose effect, but for normal urination no.

itgotweird said...

I did the no hand wind breaker removal in a big pack at East Canyon for the first time. Scary as hell. I won't try the bathroom experiment until my wife is back in town, in case I need someone to clean up the mess.

dug said...

are we not men? we must take advantage of every opportunity to handle our junk.

the no hands method is just a wasted opportunity.

KanyonKris said...

... and the room went silent.

Blackdog said...

This dug dude is the bathroom messiah. When dug speaks people listen. I will admit that I was a little freaked out by hid biddet post the other day. Have you ever seen how the wand comes out. That would scare the crap out of me..